Monday, January 3, 2011


Time does it, I know. But more impoprtantly, so do flies. Flies fly. A fly flies. Flying flies are horrible, nasty, and they know just how to piss off an old bastard.
An example, from today, with a preamble.
I've been sleeping poorly of late.Hot nights, combined with an arthritis storm. My left forefinger has swollen to twice its normal size, and it ispainful to touch. Fortunately, I've always typed with the second finger, the digitus secundus, a latin glomeration that I've just invented to cover my lack of knowledge.
Anyway: bad finger, creaking neck, hip that grates, and a knee that ain't great. Put together, it means bad snoozing.
So, this afternoon, as it's a Public Holiday, I decide to take a nap. I hit the pillow, and start snoozing... but a frigging house fly, the well-known musca domesticus (to display my knowledge of something that I actually know) decides to say "g'day".
I was, because of the heat, on top of the bed. I was wearing tee shirt and shorts.
Everyone has a 2 square inch patch of skin on their forearms, near their elbows, where there's not much flesh between bone and skin surface. The menacing musca landed on that are, right hand side. I shooed it away. It went to the same place, left arm. I shooed it away. it went to the right arm...
Everyone* has an ankle or two: the bastard fly got bored with my arms, and went from ankle to ankle. Zip, zap. Then back to the patch near the elbows. I got so damned suspicious about these areas smelling of decaying dead flesh that I gave up, and sprayed each part with an expensive cologne. Suck on that, bastard fly. I sat outside, with a G and T, and hordes of frigging flies decided they really love expensive cologne.
I then got out the Black Flag, and killed a gazillion of the fucking things.
I'm not fond of flies.
Reading: comic, Battler Britten, an update of the old "Air Ace"comix I read as a kid. Written by Garth Ennis, who's a brilliant comic writer.
Listening to: "Matinee Idol", on the steam wireless. Not right now - but everyone in the world should listen to this programme: it is just about three centimetres beyond brilliant.  Radio New Zealand National, from noon 'til five, weeekday afternoons, while silly season continues.
*Qualifier. Everyone means those people who have a full complement of limbs.
Love you long time.

1 comment:

  1. On Marion island, flies would get lost at sea if they took off. They're not endemic there, but of course people introduced them.. and guess what? They don't have functional wings any more. They are 'walks'. I would not, however, recommend that you relocate there!