Sunday, June 14, 2009

Let's really get capitalism involved in our wars.

That'swhat it should all be about.
A world in which the generals had to take note of their sponsorship partners would surely bring about different results for battles.
The Battle of the Bulge, brought to you by Lucky Strike. What a coup! Sponsor the right battle, and you have naming rights for peretuity. OK, you'd be taking a bit of a chance on the outcome. It would have been a bit of a bummer if the German Wermacht had actually acheived all their objectives during the Battleof the Bulge.. but a bit of creative spin, widdershins, would still have Lucky Strike coming out ahead. All they'd need to do would be to have plenty of product available for the victorious troops, just in case.
Thermopylae, brought to lucky hoplites by Beehive Matches: and what a match it is, ladies and gentlemen. 1,000,000 Persians, including drooling and dull-eyed lackeys, versus just 300 plucky Spartans aided and abetted by assorted Athenians and plumbers. Busy as bees, those boys are.. and all their campfires are lit by the ever dependable Beehive matches.
Lets see, now: Waterloo, backed by the always waterproof Wellington boot. The Tet Offensive, sponsored by Ajax Prosthetics; The First Battle of the Somme, with Sleepyhead mattresses (for the sleep of a lifetime!).
Get real commercialism involved in wars and battles, right out in the open and up-front: you'd certainly have the share-owners thinking hard before allowing their boiys to go into battle. We could even take it down to an individual level. The soldiers' body armour, sponsored by Lifesavers.. the mint with a hole. Perhaps not. Ammunition, sponsored by Bata Bullets. Shrapnel, by Jag. Rifles, by Vodka Shots.
Make the armed forces... er, defence forces.. reliant on sponsorship money, and you'd soon see that market forces would be an open and honest player in wars - they'd be finally out in the open, instead of skulking in the darkess, hiding their voracious light under a barrel. And let's face it: there's nothing more ruthless or blind in its total disdain for the individual, than market forces. Adcam Smith's invisible hand will finally be given its freedom to really make an impact.

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