Saturday, April 24, 2010

Sunday Scribbles XXXII

LATE again. This is not because I got up while it was still dark, in order to go to the Dawn Service. I did set the alarm, and had all the best intentions, etc. My body, however, was having none of it.

I'M about to go all Self-help bookish. I loath those types of books with a passion, because of their simplistic, patronising bullshit. But out of desperation, i am going to try something.

I'M tired of being in pain, and over the past few weeks it'[s been getting worse. I won't bore you with details. Suffice to say that I wake up every 15 minutes because of the pain. Pain killers aren't heping. I'm knocking back the super-super Big White ones the doctor's prescribed, but all they do is amplify my tinnitus. This is what overdosing on painkillers does.

SO - I've started my New Age Crystal Sucking Plan. I'm am not going to use the word "pain" any more, especially when I'm talking to myself, or thinking about it. I am, instead, going to use the word "sensation". Hmm. That was an exuberant sensation. Gosh, that sensation was... sensational.

THE thinking is desperate, illogocal, and facile. It borders on superstition. Here's how it's supposed to work: if I stop thinking about it as p**n, then perhaps my reaction to it won't be as negative... therefore I may be able to cope a little better.

STUPID, right? But it's where I am right now.

MY baby 'pooter seems to have stopped picking up my wi-fi modem. Bugger. This means I can't blog from the Notebook... which means I can't cut n' paste the next chapter of Paper Heroes.

LISTENING TO: The Raconteurs, "Broken boy Soldiers".

READING: Greg Bear, "Mariposa". I note that most sci-fi that i'm reading is now American.

WATCHING: Nothing on the horizon.

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